The below is an actual correspondence between a good friend of mine and someone looking to rent out an NYC apartment. My friend was seriously looking to find a place but then he had the brilliant idea to get all ‘broken English’ and see how far he could take it once he realized that his counterpart was ‘breaking english’ in her attempt to run some type of eastern European apartment scam. I strongly urge you to read the whole thing through, its an absolute comedy masterpiece, you will not be disappointed!
R. Dishonest
I can’t show you the apartment in person because i can’t come in U.S. Like i told you in my first email i work in UK and i dont have time to came in US to show you the apartment . If you want to rent from me i can send you first the contract for rent and the keys and after that you will pay me ….. But before that you need to make one secure deposit to Paypal for our security …
Thanks for now and i will wait your email for start the transaction -CZ
Ms. ****,
Hello. I am very happy with your rapidity communique..:) Thank you! I received news from Paypal transaction information. After receipt of TNT Service of keys I will send the confirming. All apartments viewed with utmost of needed delicacy. Respect and attenuation will always be given to family or parentage on premisis with identifying markings or tags. You will have no need for worrying in this. If your family is on premises they will be treated with necessary restraint and touching of mannerisms to insure acceptance of our agreement. They will not feel intrusion from myself or my wife or throughout the moving of our men. The security will be viewed and deposited through Paypal with no indecency of action to your family or belongings. If unmarked or untagged family or parentage will be experiencing to be on the premises for over or above then 1 year please do make sure that you are sending full disposed detail with all pictures and names for express identification of thier purpose on premises. Be sure that you are including nicknames, records for employer, vetrination papers, and of their birth dates for the insurance, as all disposed details will be sealed in the vault, which we already discussed as high-confidential. This is in perpetuity. If your require the phone numbers please have them attach to your email. I will guarantee to you now the moving of our men will coincide with this for our prosperous future in this agrrement Thank you again. My wife is exciting! After the viewing we will speak with you as to making tenancy complete for us together for your suggested monthly period. I look forward to the TNT Service keys.
Sincerely. **
Hello ,
I understand you and i am very hapy because we can close our transaction this week.
If you have receive the confirmtion from Paypal service you need to make the deposit today to the Paypal .
When you will contact paypal with payment information , Paypal will confirm me this and when i will have the Paypal confirmation i will start the delivery with TNT . I will send you the keys and all documents for rent .
Now i will wait your email after you will send the payment confirmation to Paypal today for i can send you today the keys .
Thanks and i will wait. **
Ms. ****,
I am happy for your deep understanding of myself and your excitedness in this manner. I would like for us to be complete with this transaction immediately, and as partners in essence, moving toward each other with the utmost of lords frankness between us. My funds are no accessible without the following information from you and your family and or parentage with unidentified- unmarked or tagged or those with no collar- as semi-small children or guests of such as pets or curios:
1) Full disposed detail with all pictures and names for express identification of thier purpose on premises.
2) Nicknames, records for employer, vetrination papers, phone numbers, nesting pieces, and of their birth dates for the insurance carriers expediency of kennel laboring.
3) Dental modification numbers for hintervingus nodules in excess of 4 gross kilo-specters per mass eurotype or drogue.
4) Desirable length of time for nesting within the agreed upon limitations of the property structure with approval of proper descendancy and hygienic contractual obligation for muskiness thereof.
I am the owner of numerous heavy currency fund trusts, and require this important information in order to complete and finalize our tenancy transaction. Again, be assured in your mentality to all disposed details will be sealed in the vault, very high-confidential, in perpetuity. Once you are send this to me I will begin the ascension for us together. When will you send this by? When will you send these keys? It is urgent for me to start the viewing immediately after our emails in order to make all necessary testing for appliances and toiletable functionaries on premises for your parentage and or children in above familial settings. I do not want to interefere with your partners, so I feel that once we can agree with this you will be happy in your decision of faith with me. My wife says hello to you, and we hope that the hand of god pets you lovingly.
Now I will wait your email.
Sincere Tenancy
Mnsr. ****,
Hello. Please begin your response process for the information which has the requests below. It is of utmost imperativeness for me to gain complete and total receipt of this information in order to execute our tenancy transaction for todays banking hours of operation. Please tell me when my expectation can occur for the bellow requests, and when the TNT Service of keys will be progressed. Please rest assured of your parentage and families will be taken care of professionally and with humble gratitude in extremis. The hand of god pets you lovingly.
I have been await your email.
With Sincerest of Tenancy
Hello, I already started the transaction (I’ve already placed the keys and the contract at the paypal agent)… Please follow the instructions from paypal invoice so we can close this deal… Looking forward to hearing from you…
Mnsr. ****,
This is a very strong start from you. You are a true front runner and have made my wife undeniably enjoyable for these new residences for us and our men, who will be moving immediately to begin processing your parentage and extracurricular relations into profitable work camps. As we discussed previously, my banking agent requires the following top-grade information on you:
1) Full disposed detail with all pictures and names for express identification of thier purpose on premises.
2) Nicknames, records for employer, vetrination papers, phone numbers, nesting pieces, and of their birth dates for the insurance carriers expediency of kennel laboring.
3) Dental modification numbers for hintervingus nodules in excess of 4 gross kilo-specters per mass eurotype or drogue- whichever comes first.
4) Desirable length of time for nesting within the agreed upon limitations of the property structure with approval of proper descendancy and hygienic contractual obligation for muskiness thereof.
Once you fulfill your obligation of replies I will begin the pleasurable releasing of funds to your specified account. All of this will be held under lock with chastity in a securable vault of the highest calibrated confidentiality spectrum. Once again, this is in perpetuity and can be used to safeguard your fruit filled children. You are prudent and self aware of your musculature. This is pleasant to all of us. If you would like to make this a happening for tonight’s evening hours please tell me the name and phone number of your paypal agent. I can work with them directly to discuss you and your fundings.The hand of god tickles you under the chin, and this is a sign of joyous prosperity for your descendants.
I have been continue to await your email of repose.
With the Greatest Sincerity for Tenancy and Trust
