Funny Stories « Dishonest Daily

March 23, 2010

Health care bill passes as law and Ron Paul menstruates

Filed under: Dishonest Dude Finder,Dishonest K,Funny Stories,General,Humor,Serious Stories — Tags: biden, bill, care, health, house, obama, pass, senate — admin @ 9:03 pm

March 23rd 2010 a landmark bill passed today and the controversy begins. Ron Paul laid an egg and I did too!

“If costs were lowered, more people could simply pay for what they need out of pocket, as they were able to do before government got so involved. Instead, in the name of going after greedy insurance companies, the federal government is going to make people even more beholden to them by mandating that everyone buy their product!” – Ron Paul March 23, 2010

He goes on to implicate the media, not just in this instance, as fooling the public for payoffs and benefits from corporations. Although this stance seems a tad radical, he may not be far off. 1984 by George Orwell and V for Vendetta are great mediums depicting Big Brother’s manipulation on the masses. With growing government control we may find an increase in doctors like the one below, seemingly trustworthy and handsome yet, underpaid and deviant.

I found this interpreted version of the Health Care Bill from a U.S. military officer here:

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2300451/posts

This is the House interpretation here:

http://edlabor.house.gov/blog/2009/10/affordable-health-care.shtml

There seems to be many different interpretations. So who is telling the truth? It is very difficult for the lay person to interpret the actual 1,017 page bill with factual results. So who can you trust to give you the facts and make a decision, or do we even have a say anyway? What it really comes down to is money, as long as you can overlook the infringement of one’s Constitutional Right of Liberty.

Back to money, what will I have to pay for medical care (hospital, dental, vision, surgery, etc.) based on my AGI from my yearly return? Let’s use our current social form of health care Medicaid, as an example:

Your husband is out of work and your wife grosses $24,000 per year, which puts you $100 giveth or taketh over to qualify however, your children “may” still be covered. This is why most college grads, uneducated adults, and unemployed or underemployed people lack health insurance, because they simply cannot afford it. Yet, do not qualify for Medicaid because of their ridiculous income cutoffs. Even New York Health Care Plus plans are expensive, not $600 per month, but $200-400 depending on which plan you have.

The big question is how will the cutoffs change in favor of the underpaid, unemployed, and underemployed demographic and what exactly will it cost, especially since we will have to purchase the product or be fined heavily? Then there is the demographic that can afford private quality health insurance who are seriously concerned about the future quality of health care if the government is now in control.

Lastly, t-shirts and health care go together like the media in bed with corporations and government. Rock this DHT tee shirt at dishonestees.com. Fuel the Revolution!

- Dishonest K

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March 4, 2010

Hilarious New Health Care Bill, what’s so funny? Not much it’s mostly BS!

Filed under: Dishonest Dude Finder,Dishonest K,Funny Stories,General,Humor,Serious Stories — Tags: bill, care, easter, health, new, obama — admin @ 1:31 pm

Obama and House Democratic leaders are pushing to pass this new Health Bill for Easter, which is planned to extend coverage to millions of uninsured Americans and crack down on greedy insurance companies, especially ones that deny coverage for those with pre-existing conditions.

Much of the cost of the legislation, nearly $1 trillion over a decade, would be financed by cuts in future Medicare payments and higher payroll taxes on individuals earning more than $200,000 and couples more than $250,000. – ERICA WERNER, Associated Press Writer.

Who makes over $250,000 every year anyway? Well 2% of the population does. The median household income is $50,000, so the masses will benefit greatly from this Bill. Conversely, if you are a couple living in New York making a total of $250,000 per year, would you be happy about being taxed considerably more? You probably are paying 2 or 3 college tuitions, or will be, premium health insurance coverage for your entire family, a mortgage in a safe and stable area, high taxes of course, car payments, and the list goes on for any breathing human?

At the same time I cannot feel sorry for any family making $250,000 because I make less than $12,000. If wages increased fairly along with the cost of real estate then this health crisis would not exist, but due to large scale corruption with various financial institutions, super high living expenses, current taxation, enormous tuition fees, the cost of housing, and the decrease in wages earned in comparison to the cost of real estate, it makes this new “Hilarious Health Bill” utterly absurd and not funny at all!

The government in cahoots with the insurance and drug companies have orchestrated another giant rip off, “masked” by an ethnic President in office; a perfect distraction! I say ethnic because that’s who best represents the demographic of an American in the 21st century. Here is a snippet of info to further increase the complexity of this debate:

Recent history contradicts the claim that raising taxes on high-income households weakens small-business job growth. Critics of proposals to increase taxes on upper-income households often argue that they would harm middle-income households by placing their jobs at risk. Critics of President Clinton’s economic plan made this argument in the early 1990s. Subsequent history, however, contradicted this claim: small-business job growth was more than twice as strong during the Clinton years, when Congress raised taxes on high-income households, than during the George W. Bush years, when Congress cut them. This experience shows that many factors affect job growth besides tax rates on high income individuals.^{^[13]}By Chuck Marr Revised July 30, 2009

So there you have it, the poor who used to make up most of the middle class and still called the middle class, will finally get health insurance, but we’re still not certain how affordable or free it will actually be, and we will now be forced to purchase health insurance or otherwise heavily fined, “ and the new middle class and Medicaid will pay for it, supposedly” Pure genius, as all government and corporate scams are! History repeating itself and the ignorant and overworked just endure, or better yet adapt!

If only we had a Private Investigator to squash these ridiculous government orchestrations, the best thing to do is wear this Serie Italiana t-shirt by Dishonest Apparel at dishonestapparel.com. Fuel the Revolution! This is my opinion, feel free to contradict and stand up for yours!

- Dishonest K

Comments (14)

February 11, 2010

Lebron James is a terrorist?! Can’t be!

Filed under: Apparel News,Celebrity,Dishonest T,Funny Stories,Humor — Tags: Italian Pulp, lebron james, Retail, Sports — admin @ 2:38 pm

This just in!!!

Either Lebron James is an accused terrorist, or this picture is just too much of a coincidence. I mean, look closely at the caption below his picture. Am I reading that correctly!??!

Lebron James Terrorist Article

In case you can’t read it. Take a closer look!

Lebron James Close Up

Anyway, maybe it’s just my eyes seeing Lebron’s name there. Good news is that for the first time, we’ve written two blog posts in one single day! How about that!?

We have a meeting next week with an undisclosed retailer to show our newest line of Italian Pulp T- shirts. Tell us your thoughts:

Gigetto Pulp Comic Image

Colin Farrell Rockin' Italian Pulp

We’ll get back to you!

Visit our funny t-shirt site: www.dishonestees.com

-Dishonest T

P.S. I dedicate this blog post to Ben Brown

Comments (7)

Being Black in Dallas….Sucks!

Filed under: Celebrity,Dishonest Dude Finder,Dishonest T,Funny Stories,Humor,Sports — Tags: black man, cowboys, dallas, dishonest, franchise, jerry jones, racist, Sports — admin @ 1:45 pm

Dishonest in Dallas: The two seem to go hand in hand these days.

However, our Dallas farm boys have done a much better job at covering up their delinquent ways until one small screw up aired on national TV. I caught a glimpse of something that makes my stomach churn. Not that there was anything shocking about a black man getting dissed in the owner’s luxury suite of a Dallas Cowboy’s game, but to syndicate it nationally?

Check out this clip of a man sharing all the joy and exuberance of a Dallas touchdown with the rest of the ‘whites’, but was unceremoniously excluded from sharing in the celebration…or ceremoniously excluded. Not sure which applies. Anyway, what’s up with that!?

Black Man Dissed @ Dallas Football Game

For this, we give the Dallas Cowboys the DISHONEST Stamp!

Dallas Cowboys are Dishonest

Visit our funny t-shirt site: www.dishonestees.com

-Dishonest T

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January 6, 2010

When foreigners communicate over email – Luxury Apt in NYC

Filed under: Funny Stories,General,Humor,R Dishonest — admin @ 11:31 am

The below is an actual correspondence between a good friend of mine and someone looking to rent out an NYC apartment. My friend was seriously looking to find a place but then he had the brilliant idea to get all ‘broken English’ and see how far he could take it once he realized that his counterpart was ‘breaking english’ in her attempt to run some type of eastern European apartment scam. I strongly urge you to read the whole thing through, its an absolute comedy masterpiece, you will not be disappointed!

R. Dishonest

I can’t show you the apartment in person because i can’t come in U.S. Like i told you in my first email i work in UK and i dont have time to came in US to show you the apartment . If you want to rent from me i can send you first the contract for rent and the keys and after that you will pay me ….. But before that you need to make one secure deposit to Paypal for our security …

Thanks for now and i will wait your email for start the transaction -CZ

Ms. ****,

Hello. I am very happy with your rapidity communique..:) Thank you! I received news from Paypal transaction information. After receipt of TNT Service of keys I will send the confirming. All apartments viewed with utmost of needed delicacy. Respect and attenuation will always be given to family or parentage on premisis with identifying markings or tags. You will have no need for worrying in this. If your family is on premises they will be treated with necessary restraint and touching of mannerisms to insure acceptance of our agreement. They will not feel intrusion from myself or my wife or throughout the moving of our men. The security will be viewed and deposited through Paypal with no indecency of action to your family or belongings. If unmarked or untagged family or parentage will be experiencing to be on the premises for over or above then 1 year please do make sure that you are sending full disposed detail with all pictures and names for express identification of thier purpose on premises. Be sure that you are including nicknames, records for employer, vetrination papers, and of their birth dates for the insurance, as all disposed details will be sealed in the vault, which we already discussed as high-confidential. This is in perpetuity. If your require the phone numbers please have them attach to your email. I will guarantee to you now the moving of our men will coincide with this for our prosperous future in this agrrement Thank you again. My wife is exciting! After the viewing we will speak with you as to making tenancy complete for us together for your suggested monthly period. I look forward to the TNT Service keys.

Sincerely. **

Hello ,

I understand you and i am very hapy because we can close our transaction this week.

If you have receive the confirmtion from Paypal service you need to make the deposit today to the Paypal .

When you will contact paypal with payment information , Paypal will confirm me this and when i will have the Paypal confirmation i will start the delivery with TNT . I will send you the keys and all documents for rent .

Now i will wait your email after you will send the payment confirmation to Paypal today for i can send you today the keys .

Thanks and i will wait. **

Ms. ****,

I am happy for your deep understanding of myself and your excitedness in this manner. I would like for us to be complete with this transaction immediately, and as partners in essence, moving toward each other with the utmost of lords frankness between us. My funds are no accessible without the following information from you and your family and or parentage with unidentified- unmarked or tagged or those with no collar- as semi-small children or guests of such as pets or curios:

1) Full disposed detail with all pictures and names for express identification of thier purpose on premises.

2) Nicknames, records for employer, vetrination papers, phone numbers, nesting pieces, and of their birth dates for the insurance carriers expediency of kennel laboring.

3) Dental modification numbers for hintervingus nodules in excess of 4 gross kilo-specters per mass eurotype or drogue.

4) Desirable length of time for nesting within the agreed upon limitations of the property structure with approval of proper descendancy and hygienic contractual obligation for muskiness thereof.

I am the owner of numerous heavy currency fund trusts, and require this important information in order to complete and finalize our tenancy transaction. Again, be assured in your mentality to all disposed details will be sealed in the vault, very high-confidential, in perpetuity. Once you are send this to me I will begin the ascension for us together. When will you send this by? When will you send these keys? It is urgent for me to start the viewing immediately after our emails in order to make all necessary testing for appliances and toiletable functionaries on premises for your parentage and or children in above familial settings. I do not want to interefere with your partners, so I feel that once we can agree with this you will be happy in your decision of faith with me. My wife says hello to you, and we hope that the hand of god pets you lovingly.

Now I will wait your email.

Sincere Tenancy

Mnsr. ****,

Hello. Please begin your response process for the information which has the requests below. It is of utmost imperativeness for me to gain complete and total receipt of this information in order to execute our tenancy transaction for todays banking hours of operation. Please tell me when my expectation can occur for the bellow requests, and when the TNT Service of keys will be progressed. Please rest assured of your parentage and families will be taken care of professionally and with humble gratitude in extremis. The hand of god pets you lovingly.

I have been await your email.

With Sincerest of Tenancy

Hello, I already started the transaction (I’ve already placed the keys and the contract at the paypal agent)… Please follow the instructions from paypal invoice so we can close this deal… Looking forward to hearing from you…

Mnsr. ****,

This is a very strong start from you. You are a true front runner and have made my wife undeniably enjoyable for these new residences for us and our men, who will be moving immediately to begin processing your parentage and extracurricular relations into profitable work camps. As we discussed previously, my banking agent requires the following top-grade information on you:

1) Full disposed detail with all pictures and names for express identification of thier purpose on premises.

2) Nicknames, records for employer, vetrination papers, phone numbers, nesting pieces, and of their birth dates for the insurance carriers expediency of kennel laboring.

3) Dental modification numbers for hintervingus nodules in excess of 4 gross kilo-specters per mass eurotype or drogue- whichever comes first.

4) Desirable length of time for nesting within the agreed upon limitations of the property structure with approval of proper descendancy and hygienic contractual obligation for muskiness thereof.

Once you fulfill your obligation of replies I will begin the pleasurable releasing of funds to your specified account. All of this will be held under lock with chastity in a securable vault of the highest calibrated confidentiality spectrum. Once again, this is in perpetuity and can be used to safeguard your fruit filled children. You are prudent and self aware of your musculature. This is pleasant to all of us. If you would like to make this a happening for tonight’s evening hours please tell me the name and phone number of your paypal agent. I can work with them directly to discuss you and your fundings.The hand of god tickles you under the chin, and this is a sign of joyous prosperity for your descendants.

I have been continue to await your email of repose.

With the Greatest Sincerity for Tenancy and Trust

Comments (1)

November 17, 2009

Black Eyed Peas: Boobs, Butts and Token Minorities…and That’s It!

Filed under: Celebrity,Dishonest T,Funny Stories,Humor — Tags: apparel, Black Eyed Peas, Celebrity, Fergie, Music, Wack Eyed Peas — admin @ 2:05 pm

Every once in a while I will indulge in mainstream Top 40 music through a random night spot appearance or a Facebook news feed. Well this atrocious song came on at a club, which I assumed was a brand new club crasher, but was has actually been causing ears to bleed for over 4 months.

The problem is ‘ears to bleed’ probably only relates to myself, as the rest of this robotic following celebrates “I gotta feelin’” as their theme song.

BEP- I gotta feelin’ (that this song sucks)

This song just sounds like something LEN (Steal My Sunshine) would put out. If not LEN, then maybe LFO (Summer Girls). One thing Black Eyed Peas has either failed to understand, or understand so well they are enjoying the manipulation, is that Fergie’s sex appeal should not be correlating to good music. Her bust should not cover-up her bust….ed lyrics (or face: see below).

Did you see Fergie’s ass at minute .55?

Fergie's Butt

Is there a perceived direct proportion between hot ass and good music. Indeed she has a breathtaking hiney and most American millennial males may spend the better part of 5 minutes masturbating to this video, but it continues to exhibit the Wynand effect most appropriately: If one has the power to feed feces to the masses knowing damn well that they will happily eat it, why not provide them with an endless supply?

That is what the BEP are doing, feeding the world human feces and we’re all eating it…nay, gorging ourselves with it. I can’t figure out if it is bad to continue driving people further and further down into their rightful place inside a useless abyss, or if it is a good thing to keep weeding these idiots out and let the real people run this planet (clearly my thoughts transcend a much larger issue, but the BEP, in my opinion, are a nice little microcosm). Maybe combined evolution of humanity should be our global goal, but I can’t see myself or anyone like me successfully dragging some of this dead weight with me!

Anyway, we don’t sell half the shirts we create, but slap them up on our blog for people to read, laugh at or defend against mercilessly.

Here is newbie:

Wack Eyed Peas Fergie is a Wack Eyed Pea

-Dishonest T

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September 27, 2009

Why Men Cheat: Do they actually think with their Penis?

Filed under: Apparel News,Funny Stories,General,Humor,Serious Stories,Sexist Sally,T-Shirt News — admin @ 2:48 pm

If you compare our caveman predecessor to an average male in 2009 you will find one main indication of an evolved man, it’s his head or brain specifically. The male brain can now differentiate between his brain and his little brain or penis and which one is making the decisions. Yet, 9 out of 10 the men still have no control over the little head. Many men find themselves frustrated with promising one thing to their partners and doing the opposite with their penis. You may often hear women say “They only think with that thing of theirs!” A woman who says this probably was a first hand victim and is disgruntled by this typical male dilemma. The film by Ed Burns “Sidewalks of New York” captures the essence of what men go through and why they cheat and what women go through to cope with this “disease.”

Why is it that men only get the wrap for thinking with their genitals? The fact is women do the same while utilizing their vagina, so what’s the difference? The key word is utilizing, women use their genitals deliberately instead of uncontrollably. Women have motive, men have a sausage shaped alien in their pants with a mind of it’s own! There isn’t a jump in salary following a male orgasm, maybe jail time and the clap, but no promotion or monetary gain.

What are women to do when only 1 out of 10 men have the ability to control their penis in moments of immense sexual opportunity and the other 9 are hopeless? Below is a list of things to look closely at and suggestions that may help:

1. Father’s history of being faithful

2. Testosterone level typically obvious by loud personality, body hair, and body building

3. Feminine qualities – could be homosexual

4. Frequency of Pornography viewing

5. Did he cheat to be with you?

6. Frequent private cell phone calls and/or private texting

7. Show him that you’re not stupid and purchase this t-shirt from

Dishonest Apparel at dishonestapparel.com

Sexist Sally

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August 18, 2009

Artists vs. Writers Softball game and Copyright infringement?

Filed under: Apparel News,Funny Stories,General,Humor,Serious Stories,T-Shirt News,T-shirt Ted — admin @ 11:30 am

Lori Singer, Tarek Pertew

Copyrights are all the rave in the United States. You can’t trust anyone with anything it seems, but what’s the big deal of altering an existing image and attempting to make money with it? We spoke with The Pertew brothers of Dishonest Apparel who were hanging with the beautiful and talented musician and actress Lori Singer. The two brothers and third business partner are emersed in the world of stolen Art, many of their original Artwork featured on t-shirts and other apparel have been knocked off and replicated with just minor changes. Tarek the originator of Dishonestees Inc. mentioned “It can be very frustrating as an Artist to see your work selling without your permission and/or a Design altered slightly however, instead of focusing on suing people I continue to produce new and fresh Designs.” His brother Karim said “The fact is slight alterations to original Artwork are legal, we even do it! Duplicating and selling is not and I’ll drag those Commie Monkeys by the hair down 5th avenue.”

Should Shepard Fairey sue the Artists and Writers for replicating his work and color scheme on their charity team t-shirts? Fairey, the California artist whose “Obama Hope” works have garnered much attention has filed a lawsuit against the Associated Press over his right to use the famous image. As reported by the Associated Press (AP), Fairey’s lawsuit is requesting that the artist be found not to be in violation of any copyright law because the 2006 AP photo image was dramatically changed.

The Associated Press threatened to sue Fairey over use of the photo, citing being owed compensation and credit for use of a photograph taken by Mannie Garcia as part of an AP assignment. Paul Colford, a spokesperson for the Associated Press, is quoted in the report as stating, “AP believes it is crucial to protect photographers, who are creators and artists. Their work should not be misappropriated by others.”

Anthony Falzone with the Fair Use Project, which participated in bringing forth the lawsuit, is further quoted in the report as stating, “There should be no doubt about the legality of Fairey’s work… He used the photograph for a purpose entirely different than the original, and transformed it dramatically.”

The Associated Press and anyone like these bastards who make it their mission to crush Artists and Writers should be beaten in public. It’s hard enough for Artists and Writers to put food on the table while they work tiresly on a piece to achieve a descent living for them and their families, to then be attacked and sued for creating beautiful and salable work.

On the other hand knocking off (duplicating exactly) original Art, hand bags, DVD movies, clothing, etc is a crime and should be punishable by death or removal of extremeties. They do in Saudi Arabia! I’m not serious however, I do want to emphasize the magnitude of such dishonesty.

T-shirt Ted

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July 29, 2009

The New Pizzeria, who kneads your dough at your local pizza joint?

Filed under: Apparel News,Dishonest K,Funny Stories,General,Humor,Serious Stories,T-Shirt News — admin @ 11:22 am

Pizza, the staple for lunch and dinner across the world, also breakfast for some I guess. I have capitalized the “P” in Pizza because I feel it’s earned the capitalization. The first Pizzeria in North America was opened in 1905 by Gennaro Lombardi at 53 1/3 Spring Street in New York City, and some of the very first Pizzas, as we know it showed up in Brooklyn, New York in the 1930′s. However, cheese on dough has been around for centuries in the Mediteranean, and may have been discovered by the Egyptians, as was beer and braces!

Now, well into the 21st century the dominance of Italians creating and selling Pizza has evolved quite a bit. Pizza chains like Pizza Hut, Domino’s, Papa John’s, and Little Caesar’s who may have been founded by Italians are now owned and operated by groups of people who never ate Pizza before they arrived in the U.S. Furthermore, and especially in New York, most of the Italian Pizza restaurants are staffed by Hispanic men. Who prepare the dough from scratch, add the toppings, bake, and sell without the assistance of one Italian. Not that there’s anything wrong with that except for the name of the Pizza joint is Anthony’s and not Juan’s!

The fact is immigrant workers from Hispanic countries offer dirt cheap labor and the Italian owners need every penny to afford the mansions and fancy cars they flaunt in the Gold Coast. Not to say they’re not working hard and spending time each day overseeing their Pizza operations, but should these employees be exploited for their lack of rights, as many political leaders refer as “illegal aliens” in the United States. How can anyone be illegal when man wasn’t created by man, but was created by God or the Earth itself?

I don’t want to just expose Italians here, pretty much every ethnic group in the U.S. exploits these immigrants including former immigrants who have done well for themselves, and have forgotten where they’ve come from apparently. Whatever your opinion, albeit the wealthy Italian Pizza shop owner, the exploited immigrant or “illegal alien” for all you die hard patriots, or the holier than thou writer who writes articles like this, this t-shirt by Dishonest Apparel at dishonestees.com is a great way to express your vote for more delicious Pizza! A Mexican sporting a sombrero with the text “MEXICO” on the hat, the text on the tee shirt reads “Anthony’s Pizzeria” pretty clever!

Dishonest K

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July 28, 2009

Lego Man

Filed under: Apparel News,Funny Stories,General,Humor,R Dishonest,Serious Stories,T-Shirt News — admin @ 8:42 pm

Photosynthesis is the intangible life blood of our planet that provides us with everything that is basic to human survival and evolution. With all the different business and influence that these sun rays are getting mixed into one specific entity is left behind in the list of the many benefactors that are digging on these good vibrations of UV penetration. The party in question is the infamous Lego Man who leads a secluded and mysterious existence within his silicon confines. Given his material composition most would think the Suns powerful rays would be a deterrent to his way of life and eventually soften his skin and leave it ripe for an unseemly bondage to anyone of the foreign object he has connected onto, or into, his body. In reality Lego Man is a photophile who would tan his hide to a crisp auburn if it weren’t for the protective walls of his cylindrical abode. Lego Man has been seen tracking the arc of that burning star across its fiery path and absorbing every beam he can. We at Dishonest Apparel salute you Lego Man, may you’re tan last and your innate hunger be quenched by nightfall.

The Lego Man T-Shirt

-R.Dishonest

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